I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize