he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
