There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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