Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
