i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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