Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
