5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
