Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
