i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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