Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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