I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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