i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
