Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
