I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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