youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Randomize
