Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
