Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
