Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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