Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
