I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
