Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so let's talk penis.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
