Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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