Have you finally orgasmed yet?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
should my penis look like a turkey
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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