The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
