Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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