We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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