Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
