He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
