what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
