There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
