the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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