We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
