And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I need moral support for this bender
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
