I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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