dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize