Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
