When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
