I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
