hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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