True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
40s are totally the cure
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
