there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
