I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
