Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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