Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
