Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
