She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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