she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
