he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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