You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Randomize