Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
