ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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