We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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