sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
