Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
