In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
