It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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