and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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