just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
