Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
