I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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