Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
