She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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