So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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