singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
