FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
