You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
